Words

     The thing about internet relationships is that they can't really be built on physical things.  You can't physically hug and kiss someone over the internet.  Instead, relationships tend to be built on words.  The words that you say and type mean a lot to other people.  Sure, you can type things like "//hug", but repeating that gets old after so long.
     That's why I try my best when it comes to word choices.  In the end, the words that I choose to use means a lot in whether I come off as intimidating, nice, mean, whatever.  It's also why the hardest thing for me is not knowing what to say.  When I can't say anything because the other person doesn't want me to know why they're hurting or because it would reveal too much information on my end, it hurts.  A lot.  I want to say something, I truly do.  Even if they're far away, if I feel that they're hurting, then I hurt too.
     I don't like secrets.  Which is kinda weird, considering how secretive I am.   Or, at the very least, there's a lot that I don't like saying aloud.  However, the thing about secrets is that it feeds my paranoia.  I read over things that I say carefully, trying to see if there is a hint that the secret could be found.  And in the end, secrets prohibit me even more in my words.  And with how I am and how internet relations are, further limitations in speech are a bad thing.
     I'm incredibly paranoid and insecure.  It's hard for me to talk because I constantly go over what I say.  Are my word choices right?  Do I come off as too mean or condescending?  How much information regarding myself am I showing?  Will the other person take offense to my words?  Am I comfortable with showing this much information?  How will I be seen to others?  Am I saying so much that it's annoying?
     I guess that's why I'm not good with Twitter.  With Twitter, it's not just the reaction of one person that I have to worry about.  It's every person that's following me, every person that might possibly take a look at my Twitter.  Therefore, I have difficulty talking with Twitter.  Blogging is also difficult.  Sometimes, I see it as an honesty issue.  Hiding the truth, or something.  However, blogging isn't necessarily as difficult as tweeting because there's less of an obligation with having to see my blogposts over having to see my tweets.  Maybe someday, I'll be able to get over these things.

     As for why I'm talking about this?  A friend is hurting right now.  I wish to comfort them, but I'm not exactly sure how.  They're keeping a secret that a mutual friend of ours has told me without their knowledge.  I actually don't care about the contents of the secret, but they take it seriously.  They're not willing to open up to me, but I still wish to comfort them somehow.  I'm not sure what to do...