Nowhere to Run

I saw Eva's Girl in a Bubble post, and it reminded me of some thoughts I've been having of myself.

Lately, I've been staying at the library late.  It's not really because I have a lot of homework or anything.  I have things I need to do, yes, but that has nothing to do with why I'm there.

I'm there because I don't like being at home.

Even so, I don't really like being outside for so long either.  It's so tiring... Mentally, emotionally, physically, I am still not ready to be out for so long.  I come home at 8pm every night on school days.  I have enough time to eat dinner, shower, and then sleep until morning, in which I go to school and the cycle repeats.

I don't know where to go, though.

I have nowhere else to run.

I'm at the point where I'm still seeking for the comforts of the bedroom, but I really want to know what this outside world is like.  I don't like being at home, but I like being in my room.  I like having people close, but at the same time, I don't.  Idunno about that last one, I just like feeling a warm body and find it weird at the same time.  I'll be talking to someone and suddenly get that itching sick feeling, so I'll make an excuse to end the Skype call.  Half an hour later, I get lonely again, so I'll call them back and tell them I finished whatever I said I had to do.

In the end, how do we tell which side of a line we are on?

Is it really possible to be balancing right on the center of this line for so long?

Is this line even wide enough for one to be right smack dab on the center and not teetering?