Haven't abandoned, just... died. Or something.
Haven't been feeling the best lately, although my mood was fine for a little bit before it died again yesterday.
Thank you Kori for talking to me and letting me be stupid and bitchy even though you're sick and stuff. And I'm really sorry about yesterday.
Currently, I feel really bad. I woke up feeling bad and the feeling has been creeping in through me all day today. I keep feeling like there's someone behind me or something following me or something's going to jump out at me somewhere even though my back is to the wall and the lights are on and it's my own damn room. I'm kind of scared and kind of confused and I kind of hate myself at the moment.
I also tried to do some recording both this morning and last night. Stopped this morning because I realized that after every line I failed, I started talking to myself about how stupid I am. I think the habit's considered pretty damn bad when I don't even realize I'm doing it. In all honesty, I seriously feel like I can't do anything right.
I'm writing this partially because there's noone to talk to right now. One of the people that I usually talk about this to is sick and is out of his house at the moment (I think?). The other one removed me on Skype. After a while of trying to figure out what the hell to do, I ended up DMing him about it. It ended up like this:
Me: [insertnamehere]? U-um, did you remove me on Skype?
Him: y-yeah
Me: oh.
And so I'm probably just being really stupid and gdi why am I so stupid and stuff, but yeah. Those are my feelings, however stupid they are.